SPIRITUALITY,LOVE AND RELATIONSHIP

By Peter John Granger

Ten years ago I would never have thought I would ever be writing an article about spirituality and relationships. At the time I would have described myself as an atheist or at best an agnostic. I had little or no interest in spiritual matters and spent most of the time using my head to solve problems logically. I had numerous judgements about what I believed were controlling and hypocritical religions. This all came to a painful end when my marriage suddenly failed and I can face-to-face with my insecurities and hidden emotions. With little to fall back on I was thrust into a process of self-discovery and began to ask the bigger questions about life.



The experience of my divorce caused me to open my heart and through a number of relationship workshops run by the Psychology of Vision organisation I began to understand the profound link between our relationships and our spirituality. Although I hadn't been terribly conscious of it in my marriage, there was something important missing in my life. I soon realised it was a lack of spiritual awareness. I also realised that my idea of love was like a commodity - something I would be given by a woman. This made me incredibly dependent on my wife for happiness. When she left me, I was forced to face the emptiness that had been inside me for most of my life. It was my belief in the scarcity of love that was at the core of my problems.



I was soon to be introduced to an idea that transformed my life - that love is not something we gain and lose - it is our essence. Love is who we are, it is our spirit. It defines us. It makes us feel whole. It is unchanging.



The implications of this idea turned everything I knew about love on its head. Our relationship problems do not come out of a personal lack of love but from an inability to know ourselves as love. Our fights and our withdrawal are a denial of our most precious essence. When we know ourselves as love we will feel complete and no longer have to desperately search for it in the world around us. We will learn to love ourselves and be able to form successful and happy relationships with other people. Such an understanding of love also provides us with a simple yet profound explanation for our spirituality. We do not need complex religious doctrines or philosophical ideas to discover our spirituality - we can simply and very naturally embody our loving essence and feel our loving connections with the people and the world (indeed the Universe) around us. The spiritual is not something full of mystery and superstition that lies at a distance or something that we must earn through religious devotion. It is the love that is ever-present in our lives and is available to us when we choose to experience it.



The other critical change in understanding comes when we release love from the constraints of the physical body. When we think of love as spirit, it becomes infinitely bigger than any of us. In the past I thought of love as the result of biochemical reactions within my brain but now I can visualise love as a Universal field of consciousness, of which I am an intimate part. This loving 'field' joins us to everybody and everything rather like a gravitational or magnetic field. Being in a loving relationship with other people and the world around us is therefore our natural state of being. Our suffering comes when we deny this state and believe that we are independent, physical entities. As soon as we disconnect and deny the love that we have for people, we create problems for ourselves. We can think of our relationships occurring on several planes - with a physical, an emotional and a spiritual dimension. In truth these are three manifestations of the same thing, but it can be useful to consider them separately, especially when we are trying to work on certain aspects of our relationships. Such a holistic understanding allows us to consider the whole rather than just the physical person. Working at the spiritual level will always have a positive impact on our physical and emotional relationships.



In a practical sense, the idea that love is our spiritual or divine reality, encourages us to remember who we are. Rather than wonder why we can't find the right partner to love us in the way we want, we can ask ourselves why we won't allow ourselves to feel all the love that is our spiritual birthright. By dismantling our own barriers to our spirituality, we naturally discover the self-love that lies underneath. If we forget who we are, we will project out our lack of love (which is another name for fear) onto the people around us and this will trigger their own sense of scarcity. The chances are that they will then attack us or withdraw from us. The solution to every relationship problem or any other problem we might face in life is therefore to rejoin the people involved and re-discover the loving connection that is our true destiny.



It's not always easy to do this but we can ask for help from God or our higher, intuitive mind. All of us are on an unconscious journey back to the oneness of love and although we might delay our progress, ultimately nothing can stop us. The ideas that I introduce in my website and these articles are designed to assist the process of remembering who we are and forgiving ourselves and the people around us so that we can re-connect with them in a loving bond. At any moment in our lives, a choice for love rather than fear, will help us stay on the spiritual path back home and bring great happiness to our relationships.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Spirituality,-Love-and-Relationships&id=1296863] Spirituality, Love & Relationships

Five Ways to Improve Your Love Relationship

By Mary Tucker

As human beings, we all desire to establish, develop and maintain loving relationship with those whom we care about. Most of us especially desire a love relationship, someone with whom to share our lives and grow old. It is arguable that on one really wants to die alone. But if this is so, then why are U.S divorce rates so high?



Many factors can account for why people split up such as early marriage, financial problems, infidelity, drug and alcohol addiction and abuse just to name a few. But, no one enters into a marriage with the intention of divorce so what goes wrong?



In order to maintain a love relationship over time, the bottom line is that each person in the marriage has a certain obligation and responsibility to practice emotional maturity and personal responsibility for their feelings, dreams and aspirations. Here are five key things to keep in mind if you want to keep that love relationship alive and well for decades.



Five ways to improve your love relationship



1. Be honest with yourself about who you really are, not who you think you should be or your spouse wants you to be. We can all only keep up a charade for so long, and then the dark side of us exposes itself at the worst possible moment.



Most of the time we deny to our conscious self that we do have a dark side in which we don't always act in way we'd like. We confuse who we think we are with who we really are, a living human being with a complete range of powerful emotions that we've learned are not safe to express, especially the vulnerable or dark ones.



If we can't accept that we are humans and are imperfect, how can we expect our spouse to do so? As long as we wear the mask of happy at the expense of embracing our pain and fear, an underlying anger and resentment will grow and grow until it finally rears its ugly head or we stuff it inside and become a victim. We begin the death march of projection of our anger, disappointment and depression onto our spouse. Somehow it makes sense to blame them. The result of this is an emotional distancing that is unhealthy and painful for both partners.



Understanding our own responsibility to be honest with who we are, what our aspirations are, what our fears are and what our joys are gives us permission and courage to ask for what we need it the love relationship.



2. Make time for the love relationship



This has been said many times, many ways and it bears repeating here. As time goes by and real life begins to creep into your loving world, it is important to remember why you got married in the first place and it is equally important to remember why you were attracted to your lover in the first place. All of the qualities that put butterflies in you stomach and passion in your heart in the early days of the relationship, still exist. However, life doesn't stand still just because we are in love. No, the sun still rises every morning, the darkness comes and the bills have to be paid.



The importance of scheduled time together cannot be overstated. As you and your spouse grow, so too, will your love relationship. It will grow and change as you do and if you do not establish a deep respect and friendship with each other, your love relationship will suffer. Be creative about together time. Take turns planning your special time together, surprise each other, have fun, create adventures and make a point to create memorable moments. This is as easy as consciously being present in the simplest of moments. When you are fully present to your love, the meaning will be memorable.



3. Be compassionate



Over time, it become very easy to take our love relationship and our partner for granted, in actuality, we begin to consider them as an extension or ourselves and this, too, is a deadly mistake. While the two of you may have joined together as "one" in marriage, there are still two distinct personalities that have dreams and goals. Eventually the day will come when we find ourselves being harsh and judgemental toward the one we love the most. Other times we find ourselves speaking to our love in a way in which we would never speak to another person. At times like these, remember that how we speak to our spouse or others who are close to us, is actually a reflection of how we speak to ourselves in our minds through a process of negative internal dialog. This is a reminder to us to stop and show compassion both to ourselves and to our love and our loving relationship.



4. Be committed



A love relationship is above all a commitment that we make not only to our lover, but to ourselves. We are best served by understanding that a commitment is not just a promise and a powerful intention, it is our integrity. Personal integrity is separate from moral or ethical integrity an responsibility. It is a promise we make to ourselves, an internal standard of the way we will live our lives. Many moments will come and go that will test the integrity of both partners, but an acknowledgment of our own code of conduct and what is in our own integrity can serve as a powerful anchor to steady us to our commitment when challenging times befall us.



5. Be Positive



It's human nature, for some unknown reason, to look for what is wrong instead of looking for what is right. This is a habit that is a must in a loving relationship. We find what we look for, so if we look for what is going wrong, or what we think is wrong about our spouse, we are sure to find it. On the other hand, if we look for what is right, we will surely find that as well.



In moments of frustration, asking this question, am I looking for what is right or what is wrong, can bring some much needed positive energy to any situation. There is no flaw in another that we can recognize that does not, in fact, dwell within us. The old saying "You spot it, you got it" is trite but true. We cannot identify what is wrong with someone else if it didn't exist is us. If not, how would we know it exists? How would be be able to spot it in another? And likewise with looking for what is right. We possess those qualities too, for again, if not, we would never be able to recognize them in our lover or the loving relationship.



There is nothing like being in love, but nothing endures like a truly loving relationship that is built on honesty, integrity, compassion, commitment and a true respect for the greater support structure being built. These qualities are the bedrock of any loving relationship that will be with you for the rest of your life, in good times and bad, in sickness and health until death parts you briefly.



Need a little support in your life? Sign up for free reports, information, e-courses and more.



Mary is a life coach is a the author of numerous newspaper and magazine articles on personal growth and conscious and successful living. Mary is known for her "no excuses" approach to coaching for a sustainable transformation.

Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Five-Ways-to-Improve-Your-Love-Relationship&id=3978367] Five Ways to Improve Your Love Relationship

LOVE A FAIRY TALE

The strong urge for love is a great desire for every human being. Love is an essential priceless commodity for a long lasting relationship. The degree of marital breakups, broken heart relationships have all led credence to the virtue of wanted love in a relationship. The pain of failed relationship is a signal that something is wrong with the acclaimed love that many seem to profess to their partners.



The social or should I say immoral vices in the lives of so many people is just simply an expression of a soul deprived of true love. Their lies in each of us a love vacuum that must be filled with love from an external soul. This seems to be missing in the lives of many. Is love a fairy tale?



Love is real but the price for it is not cheap for those who are not prepared to do what it will take to express and sustain it. Take note of the two key words there. Expressing and Sustaining. Every man has the ability to express whatever it is that is uppermost in the heart. The real problem with love is the ability to sustain such is it good or bad.



Many don’t have the understanding that it takes a determined mind to sustain love in a relationship. Love has little to do with sex or romance which many have seriously engaged themselves in but still fill empty. The so many failed relationships could have been saved if the parties involved decide to put great effort into it. Relationship breakup is not as a result of there is no more love it is simply because there is no more sustenance.



People like to play hide and seek when it comes to love issue. Been plain in a relationship is a sure way to maintain it. Offence will certainly come in any relationship, but to the degree to which it will cause an injury is greatly determined by the party involved. If people will just be sincere enough about how they feel in a relationship especially in times of inner crises or when one partner is not living up to expectation, it will solve many internal hurt that many bottle within.



Love is real and it depends on how best it is practiced. Though the many frustrating relationships may suggest otherwise. The truth remains if people will sincerely put he necessary efforts in their relationship instead of fixing blames, many would be salvaged. The infidelity of today is a result of people not understanding the value of true relationship base of truthfulness and diligence. If you truly love someone you will do all in your power not to offend or soil the relationship.



The love issue is a simple thing that has undergone distortion due to ignorance and pride. Why should a relationship that started so well end in total shams? It is basically the inability of the party involve to see their mistakes and take to correction or a change of attitude. Pride is the bedrock for unfaithfulness and all failed relationship. If people were like children in this love issue it would last long enough than anyone can imagine.
The bottom line of all I have been saying since is that love is real and it is not a fairy tale

The Game Of Deception In Love Relationship

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What is deception? This the act of deliberately making somebody believe that something is true.Many relationships that ended in shams and shambles solidify this truth.Either both parties or one were/was not sincere.So many people had deceived themselves with the illusion of falling in love which in so many cases is just building castles in the air.

One can play games in a relationship, you can either win or loose.But the truth is that love relationship involves the three entities that make up a human being namely;

1.The Body

2.The Soul(Heart)

3.The Spirit

       
Many play the games at the body and soul level,but fail to recognize the gravity of the spirit aspect.W ether you win or loose in the game of deception,you will still pay dearly.Like i said in my other post, life is a record keeper and will fully reward you as at when due-good or bad. 
         
To the ladies,how can you discern the game of deception in a guy who claims to love,adore and cherish you.I will state some below for you to beware and turn off a guy who wants to break your heart before he does.
           

SIGNS OF DECEPTION IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP

1.Does not allow you to handle his handset let alone check the message box.

2.Calls you less than you call him.

3.Shows less affection than you do.

4.Loves you less than you love him.(NEVER LOVE A MAN MORE THAN HE LOVES YOU.HE SHOULD LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DO)

5.He is always re-affirming his love for you and tells you no other lady in his life.(MANY LADIES LIKE THIS BUT IT IS JUST TO KEEP YOU OFF GUIDE IN MOST CASES.A GUY WILL SHOW HIS LOVE NOT IN WORDS BUT IN DEEDS.B-E-W-A-R-E.)

6.Feels reluctant to go out with you even on great occasions.

7.Does not feel comfortable being with you in the midst of friends,especially in a party.

8.Always want to have sex with you.(SOME LADIES FEELS THAT THIS IS A SIGN OF LOVE OR WAYS TO KEEP THE GUY FROM DUMPING THEM.BUT THE TRUTH IS THAT YOU CHEAPEN YOURSELF WHEN YOU GIVE IN TO SUCH.)

9.He receives a call in your presence and move a distance away from you to take the call.(BEWARE WHEN IT BECOMES FREQUENT.HE HAS A SECRET AGENDA)

10.Feels reluctant to visit your house,let alone know your parents.

11.Feels reluctant to introduce you as his fiance before people,family or friends.(THIS IS A SIGN THAT YOU ARE NOT THE CHOSEN ONE BUT ONLY TEMPORARY MATERIAL TO BE USED AND DUMPED.)

12.Gives you certain days and time to visit him.

13.Feels uncomfortable when you call at his house.

14.Showers you with material gifts without restraint.(THIS IS A TOOL THAT RICH GUYS USE TO DECEIVE SOME LADIES OF THEIR LOVE.BUT IT IS A GAME TO KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT)

15.Complains all the time when you seriously need his financial assistance.(ANY GUY WHO LOVES YOU WILL ALWAYS TRY TO HELP YOU EVEN THOUGH HE LACKS IT.)     16.Make joke out of you or ridicules you before his friends or family.

17.Takes sides with family or friends against you.

18.Travels for days or months without telling you and claiming it was an emergency.

19Remain calm or do nothing when you are been ridiculed,insulted or slighted by friends or family
20.Feels reluctant to honour invitation by your father,mother,uncles,brothers e.t.c.

21.Gets infuriated or angry when you see strange letters or strange texts and bring such to his n notice.

22.Always postpone the day of your wedding for reasons which are flimsy to you.

23.Does not call or text you at least once a week.

24.Goes to parties without you often.

25.Seeing material things that belongs to females in his house.

26.Seeing the pix of females in his house in sensitive places.

27.Seeing more ladies than guys in his album than males.

28.Always tries to dodge the question of engagement or wedding day.

29Not been serious and dedicated to his affiliate religion.

30.Tries to avoid you in the midst of ladies.

      
There are many signs to look out for in guys in their deceptive games.I am presently writing a book titled THE GAME OF DECEPTION IN A LOVE RELATIONSHIP.It will soon be out.To get your copy just text your name and email address to hotandromanticmarriage@gmail.com.I will continue in my how to discern when a lady is playing the game of deception in a relationship.

        Till then I remain yours in true love .Please if you need help in love matters feel free to email me.       
E-mail:hotandromanticmarriage@gmail.com

LIFE IS FAIR TO EVERYONE

        
 Life is fair to everyone, especially when it comes to relationship. The success of any relationship is directly related to how you have lived your life in the past. The success of tomorrow’s own depends on how you are living now. You can never eat your cake and have it.     

I am greatly baffled by those who have lived their lives in deceit trying to lay blames on the devil or someone else for their failed relationships.You can't live a rough life and expect a smooth future.Life records all our actions and fully compensates us for what what we are due for.

       
Many can't maintain a stable relationship because they have been unstable themselves in few or many relationships in the past.People cry of broken heart and it makes me to wonder how on earth did that happen.Many may claim innocence but the truth is that among those who claim such if genuine should check their lives properly of what might have transpired in the past that warrants the present.
      
THE BITTER TRUTH IS THAT MANY ARE NOT TRUTHFUL TO THEMSELVES WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.I am of the opinion of what you don't plant you cannot reap.If my argument sounds too far fetched,why the many broken homes today?.The rate of divorce is alarming.I fear for this generation of carnality who seek pleasure at the expense of their future happiness.
       
Life is great,but can be a tormentor when you fail to live up to the standard of morals.The many immoralities and vices among many call for a questioning.The future is great for those who understand the place of moral values in the affairs of human activities.
      
The failure of the marriage institution is a reflection of this solemn truth.Many don't know that your sins will always find you out.The hunting shadows from the past is always looking for a way to visit you.YOU can't change the past but you can set in motion what can make the power of the past evil to loose it grips on you.Until you negate the past it will always spoil your present and threaten your future.
       How can one negate the past? It is not all that easy for those who believe they are not responsible to anyone.Unknown to such, your life directly and indirectly affects millions of people.The first thing you must accept is to accept that your actions or inaction's can either lead to peoples failure or success.You had better start living a responsible meaningful life loaded with purpose and focus.
 Life will give you a happy living if you have set into motion harmonious process by your positive and godly activities.You can still enjoy your relationship by coming to terms with your past failures and reconciling with those you need to reconcile with,seeking for divine and human forgiveness.Then and only then can you hope to begin to enjoy the fruit of harmonious relationship. Gather the broken pieces of your life and start afresh with loving zeal and pleasant lifestyle

THE BEAUTY OF LIFE

LIFE IS SO WONDERFUL AND BEAUTIFUL that only a blind "person" will not notice.Life is symbiotic and all created things live in harmony with one another.The only problem in the universe is human activities violating the cosmic laws of the universe.    
   Life itself teaches the tranquility and interdependence of all living things.Life is not selfish and greedy.Humans have failed to understand that one can not disrupt the flow of the universal energy without facing the consequence.It is just like the law of Karma.Whatever you sow you must certainly reap.

Everything needed for human survival as been provided by what some term the Higher Intelligence which is actually God.Many fail to agree to the sound truth that we are all products of our actions.Life gives equal opportunity to everyone to express the vibration of the thought energy in accordance with the cosmic laws of spiritual harmony.

   Marriage which the highest form of the expression of thought energy has been seriously taken for granted.The result-mass marriage and relationship failures.Life is based on the computer terminology called GIGO(Garbage In Garbage Out).
 
The success in your relationship is a reflection of how life is compensating you of all the total summation of your activities on earth to this point in time especially through how you have expressed your thought energy
 Feel free to express your mind to me on relationship matters at love2feelings@gmail.com or text only to 08020406877